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Define Birth Certificate Meaning

Birth Certificate
The abortion clinic's apology letter to your mother.

Doctor: I'm sorry ma'am, the procedure didn't work. We're sorry, you're going to have a semi-retarded baby boy. I hope this birth certificate helps.

Mother: Uhhh...what?
By Karleen
Birth Certificate
A Receipt for the skeet.

I was not tryna put my name on that birth certificate until we got a blood test.
By Wallis
Birth Certificate
Your official diagnosis of Life. See Birthday.

Your birth certificate shows your diagnosis of Life, with the time and date that you got it.
By Heddi
Birth Certificate
It is the paper on which your birth date is written on. It USUALLY records your date of birth, but under other circumstances it could be used for just about ANYTHING. Most likely, your birth certificate is ACTUALLY an apology from the condom factory.

Wassup fool I was born in the 20's, look its on by BIRTH CERTIFICATE yo!

They told me to bring my BIRTH CERTIFICATE to prove I was 21 so they didn't let me into the gay strip club that I like to touch my weenis in.
By Deena
Birth Certificate Blues
The down on yourself feeling one gets after finding out that your most hated enemy, who you believe to be an illegal alien, proves to you that they are in fact a citizen of your respective country by flashing their birth certificate.

President Obama gave Donald Trump the birth certificate blues after releasing his long-form birth certificate to the world.
By Judith
Show Me The Birth Certificate
A way of saying "prove it." Inspired by how President Obama had to show his birth certificate to prove that he was, in fact, born in America.

Person 1: Dude, Martians just landed on Earth.
Person 2: No way. show me the birth certificate.
By Lisbeth