The 3 dollar-per-quart version of the essence of life. This is justified by running tap water through a filter and slapping "liquid hydration formula" on the label of the bottles.
Bottling your own water consists of such terrible diarrhea often the result of aggressive drinking and/or chili dogs. The poo comes out with a similar consistency of a squirt gun. Solid chunks are not allowed.
I shouldn't have eaten four chilidogs and beer because now I'm bottling water out of my ass!!
You know what---let's catch a cab back home because Serge has really been hitting the Russian bottled water pretty hard tonight and he just shouldn't drive.