Define Britains Meaning

The only culture alive that can use the word "cunt" as any available part-of-speech.

home of banter.

A nation that invented Football for the Brazilians, Cricket for the Aussies, Rugby for the Kiwis and Robbie Williams for the Gays

Britain is a Sovereign state made up of Wales, Scotland and England. The superpower of the 19th century, Britain is still the fifth largest economy and owns (arguably) the 3rd most powerful armed force. Britain is home to almost 60 million people, 1/5th the size of the USA), or about the same as France and Italy.

Very small for it's population, Britain is one of the densest populated western nations. As the United Kingdom (including Northern Ireland), it is a member of the European Union.

Domestic problems in Northern Ireland have meant that Britain has had to deal with terrorism more frequently than most of its European counterparts. This issue has become less of a problem in the last 5 years, since the Northern Ireland assembly was set up and the IRA declared an indefinite cease-fire.

Once in possession of a number of Colonies, Britain now only holds a few smaller island colonies around the world.

Britain closest ally is still the USA, which it has held a special relationship with since the early 20th century.

aka England.(to the very ignorant)
aka Chavland. (to the British)
aka Scotland. ("Fucking Britain! I'm fucking scottish" said jock)

Now im not writing this defination to boast about how great, britain is. All of you already know about this and the name of Great Britain further emphazises the greatness.
I am also writing this to give misguided souls a true discription of Great Britain and to spell out common misconceptions.

Misconception
No 1: Britain and England are not the same thing.
England is England. Are we all catching that?
Great Britain is England, Scotland and Wales.

No 2: Not all British look like the "back end of a bus" (ugly)
Apart from myself and Price Charles that is.

No 3: Tony Blair is not a Wanker.
He is a tosser. (To the non-britons and idiots among you they are both detrogatory comments)

No 4: We dont all have crumpets at tea time.
Scones are favoured accompainment to a lovely Earl Gray.

In this short space of time you have now grown accustomed to Britain's traditions. I will now provide a translation for tourists on holiday to sunny Britain;

football = soccer
oh bollocks = oh shit
a bit of crumpet = a good looking girl
arseholes = assholes or alternatly the french
french = frogs or dirty bastards
"Come on them!" = "you my friend are ever so obnoxious and now you feel my wrath with the old traditional british duel. Jeeves fetch my dueling pistols!"

I am sure all of you will agree that these translations will certainly allow you to communicate more fluently with the average Briton. May i also add the last phrase; "Come on them" works most effectively with a cockney, scouse, brummy, geordie or scottish accent. Don't say it in the queen's english you will sound like a ponce.

I now come to end of my explantion for now i bid you farewell. And may God (who is British) jolly well bless you old chaps.

(I wonder if anyone has a sence of irony or pathetic fallacy)

A place Justin Beiber got (mentally) kicked out of. First he was bared from Manchester's Sankeys, and then he fought a camera man. Lucky for Justin his bodyguards prevented him getting frimponged by putting him into his baby-seat in the back of the car Justin was using to get about the UK.

Perrenial over achievers

Britain - a country where it's normal for old men to stand outside the pub having a fag; straight men like sex with a fanny; engines are found under a bonnet; da hood is on the back of da coat; big booty goes on your big foot; dogging doesn't involve any canines; getting a good fisting means pain not pleasure; randy will never be a boys name; and we really love bums.

Used sarcastically/mokingly: When someone does something so well or often that they could represent Britain in the Olympics (or other national event) if the activity that they are good at were an Olympic sport or similar.

short form for the formal name Great Britain, an Island located west of Europe part of the British Isle archipelogo. derived from the Roman name Britannia Major. the term Great is purely geographical to show a larger land north of Gaul (France). Britain comprises of 2 former kingdoms Scotland and England and the Principality, Wales. Great Britain and her constituant countries also make up most of the United Kingdom. Northern Ireland is not in Great Britain, but in the United Kingdom. The long formal name for the country The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

The nation (and former kingdom) of England comprises most of the Island and also has the largest population

the nation (and former kingdom) of scotland comprises the most northern part of the island of Great Britain and is the second largest nation after england, although with a smaller population.

the nation (and former kingdom) of Wales, is located West of England. It is the smallest nation in Great Britain by area and population

Britain has played a vital role in world affairs being especially influencial in the 19th and early 20th centuries. Many western offshoots such as Australia and the US were formed by Britain, although have formed sperate identities still share a large part of culture heritage and language.