Define Calculus Meaning

Calculus
The one reason to allow Starbucks to take over the world.

"I have CALCULUS first hour?! Someone give me a fucking latte..."
By Daffie
Calculus
1.The branch of mathematics that is stereotypically recognized as being difficult and intimidating owing to the fact that it sounds like the word "calculator".

"Don't expect to pass calculus unless your mental math ability exceeds that of a TI-83"
By Ryann
Calculus
Calculus, which was discovered by Newton and Liebniz, nothwithstanding all credit being given to Newton, is one of the most beautiful forms of intellectual material. Calculus requires and emphasizes the development of new methods of thinking, and therefore it is not for the weak minded. Calculus has many practical applications including molecular and ecological biology, physics, engineering, social and political sciences, and business. After completing a very involved and thought-provoking problem involving differential equations or integrals, one might feel a certain "high."

Dude 1: "Yo man I got some bomb-ass shit that will fuck you up. Let's go blaze."
Dude 2: "Nah dude I got this problem for calc homework that involves differential equations and slope fields, and if I figure it out, my high will be stronger than the high off the strongest chronic"
By Tammi
Calculus
Calculus is how we know everything about everything, except sex, maybe.

It is also a name for the page and a half of indecipherable foreplay used in university physics textbooks before they give you the formula for something.

Engineering student: I forgot the formula for the volume of a sphere, but I was able to figure it out from the area of a circle using calculus.
Non-engineering student: I looked in the back of the textbook.
By Jeni
Calculus
the highest form of fuckery known to man. the reason for cracked out college students randomly combusting into a bucket of tears. the ultimate in mind fuckeration.

Why is that kid crying over there in the library at 4a.m.?
Calculus, man.
By Gillan
Calculus
Calculus is a branch of mathematics, developed independently by Newton and Leibniz and formalized in the 19th century by various mathematicians, that revolutionized human understanding of the world. Mathematically, it allows us to talk about instantaneous rates of change and areas under arbitrary curves. Doesn't sound important? When does anyone use this? Differential equations, which express the relation between two quantities in terms of how they change with respect to one another, allow us to model situations in which we cannot explicitly find the relationship between quantities. This concept can be applied to model situations in physics, engineering, chemistry (how does this reaction progress?), physiology (how does a muscle contract?)...just about any science, as well as economics, sociology (how do new ideas spread?), and more. If you want to understand the world today, you need to understand calculus. Statistics too...but that's another story.

Calculus is not some super-hard subject that only the most brilliant can handle. If you have a good teacher who explains things precisely, you can learn calculus. (Finding such a teacher, unfortunately, can be the hard part.)

Guy 1: I have to go to calculus class now.
Guy 2: Calculus? That sucks.
Guy 1: No it doesn't. I'm finally learning math that I can apply -- you can't be an engineer without it!
By Stacie
Calculus
Usually the highest level of math taught at high schools. Must be taken by those considering to major in engineering, math or physics.

Otherwise, should still be taken to make transcript look better.

"I'm taking AP Calculus my senior year. I think it'll give me more options for college."
By Maressa
Calculus
A subject within mathematics usually taught in final years of high school that's overused by the media, as of 2008, to describe any circumstance where various decisions would result in various outcomes (which is true for any decision simple or complex).

Most often used in the phrase "....the calculus of..."

Article title: "The Calculus of Union Strikes"

"What do Steven Chu and John Holdren have to say about the calculus of corn-based ethanol, and its impact on biodiversity in farm country" from the NY Times

"The calculus of reward and punishment in this world is surely more complex than sin equals cancer." from MSNBC
By Orelee
Calculus
a chronic illness, usually fatal, caused by extreme stress continuous confusion; symptoms include palpitations of the heart and endless depression (dysthymia).

I feel like my head is gonna explode, this calculus is killing me.
By Zulema
Calculus
Calculus is a generic term referring to any form of mathematics which has axioms and at least one fundamental theory. Some examples of mathematics that can be categorized as calculus are: algebra, geometry, arithmetic, etc.

Due to corruption of the definition over time, in modern usage "calculus" almost exclusively refers to "The Calculus." The Calculus is also known as "Newton's Calculus," or "Leibniz’s Calculus" depending on who you ask. Mathematics majors tend to refer to The Calculus as "Leibniz’s Calculus" and physics majors tend to refer to The Calculus as "Newton's Calculus.”

Any Given Major: "I need help with my calculus homework."
Physics Major: "Are you referring to 'Newton's Calculus?'"
Math Major: "I think you mean 'Leibniz's Calculus'"
Physics Major: “No, I mean ‘Newton’s Calculus,’ because Newton slapped Leibniz around like a step-child at Wal*Mart.”
Math Major: sob sob
By Van