A herd loud, intrusive
girls whose natural habitat is frat parties. Known to be too loud at all times, often screaming baby noises at social gatherings. To organize they give a loud call of, "SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS." When synchronized
the call reaches resonance
that can burst the ear drums of any unsuspecting males in the area. The only known defense against the cry is to be heavily intoxicated.
Once drunk the CRAN will attempt to leave their home but must change their clothes 4-8
times and change their plans repeatedly, until know one knows where they are going. Many biologists believe this is to confuse predators that would follow the CRAN. Once organized they move from party to party only stopping for minutes at a time to express their displeasure in their current surroundings. The migratory patterns of the CRAN are little understood, as they repeat this pattern every weekend and no observer has yet had the resilience
to follow one for the entire journey.
The CRAN are known to fanatical
about sports that they have very little understanding and even less experience with. It is ill advised
to confront a CRAN about their ignorance as they are known to get aggressive and charge their confronter. This is very dangerous as the CRAN hides two pronged
horns at the top of their head, under their hair. A CRAN can be identified as about to charge when they drop their head and blow steam out their nostrils.
"I heard this awful baby noise that drilled
into my head until i fell to my knees and my ears started to bleed. The pain was so incredible that i cut out my own ears with rusty spoon
. It was a CRAN."
"I was talking to this girl at the bar, we were watching a football game and she asked why they didn't just kick it every time they got the ball. I said it didn't work like that and I was immediately gored to death
"I was walking past a frat party and heard someone yelling shots, it got so loud all the surrounding glass, including my glasses, cracked. Its been 5 days and my hearing has not returned."