Got an asshole who won't shut his mouth? Tape his mouth shut with some duct tape!
Got embarassing back hair? Use the adhesive power of duct tape to rip out the unsightly growths and hair follicles!
Got an annoying roommate who sexiles you? Tie his arms and legs up with duct tape then duct tape his dick to the wall for everyone to see!
Wanna sit on a sofa on top of your car and steer using a broom through the
moonroof?
Duct tape it to the car!
Got mold on your cheese? Use duct tape to remove it!
Sofa got torn up? Use duct tape to mend it!
I duct taped my life. Everything is all better now. I've
mended my ways!