The general, dubbed el ghhheneral (Spanish for the general) during the Cold War, was Americas secret weapon in case of a soviet nuclear attack. If it ever reaches its full potential of girth and length it is capable of world annihilation. This was a key factor in ensuring a victory and discouraging the more widespread adoption of communism. The general, or gran
polla, is also credited with averting
the Cuban missile crisis and the Russian flop in the
miracle on ice game of 1980.
The general, with its numerous veins and capillaries, is able to pump 21,000 gallons of blood per second through its enlarged tissue. Far surpassing the average per gallon of water output that the beloved eyesore that is niagra falls manages