The God above God. Only known proof of his existence lies in the product whose name can’t be pronounced. The closest human guess is the word "chocolate." Has created the most profound religion on the earth, the religion of Hershey. Religion’s main philosophy is to eat the fruit provided to us by the generous Hershey, who sits on his throne behind
the gates of His paradise, the Park of Hershey. In this miraculous place, where rivers flow with chocolate goodness and rains Kisses, people are forever happy and satisfied. Only by faith in Hershey and proclaiming your loyalty by consuming the gifts provided to us by Him can one be allowed through the gates of His sweet heaven. Naysayers may belittle this religion. But think about the last time you bit into
the richness of
a milk chocolate
almond bar. This heavenly satisfaction can only be divine creation. The existence of Hershey CANNOT BE DENIED!!! We must all worship his truths, and
adhere to his teachings:
1.Though shall always eat chocolate
2.Though shall not waste chocolate
3.Though shall not do harm to chocolate
4.Though shall not use the Lord
Hershey’s name in vein
5.Though shall not
covet someone else's chocolate
6.Though shall only accept the existence of one God and one god only, Hershey, and all other would-be Gods are the creations of the Devil himself,
Willy Wonka.
7.Though shall not eat Willy Wonka brand chocolate
8.All those who deny Him shall be
smitten into a terrible existence: living life in New Jersey.
I abandoned the dumb Christian God for the almighty and most
powerfully delicious God, Hershey.
Hershey be with you, and also with you
Our Hershey, who art in the Park of Hershey,
chocolatey be thy name. Thy Park come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Pennsylvania. Give us this day our daily chocolate, and forgive us our healthiness as we forgive those who eat healthy against us. And lead us not into healthy eating, but deliver us from
brussel sprouts. Amen.
