(n.)
1. A transaction in which one corporate entity is combined with another corporate entity. A variety of types of transactions are possible, the most common being the "triangular" merger whereby one corporation ("Buyer") creates a subsidiary ("Merger Sub") into which the other corporation ("Target") is combined, thereby creating a single corporation. A wave of mergers occurred in the 1980s due to the loosening of regulations by the
Reagan administration. A similar boom occurred in the late 1990s, and, thus far, a wave of mergers in 2005 suggests that it will be another huge year of corporate combinations. Mergers create corporations with annoying, nonsensical names like "AOL
Time Warner," and "JPMorganChase" and "
PriceWaterHouseCoopers." Frequently, corporations fail to realize any additional profit from these transactions, despite many workers losing their jobs due to the supposed "efficiencies" created.
2. A transaction performed by the cockiest, least self-aware, obnoxious assholes in the worlds of investment banking and law. The area of expertise in which one performs mergers is known as "Mergers and Acquisitions" or "
M&A."
1. The merger of AT&T Wireless and
Cingular Wireless expanded the
digital network of Cingular substantially.
2.
Corporate Asshole 1: Hey man, what you been up to at the office?
Corporate Asshole 2: Inhaling deeply, cocking head to the side, wiping coke off of nose I'm working on this new merger. I can't tell you anything about it, but dude, this is gonna be huge.
Corporate Asshole 1: Sweet. Dude, have you heard this new band called the Killers? They are so awesome.
Corporate Asshole 2: Yeah, they rock. When you getting off work?
Corporate Asshole 1: Probably 2 a.m. After that, I'm going to
Lemon Bar.