Define Rudyard Kipling Meaning

Rudyard Kipling
The process of smearing the faecal matter of another, so it covers the anus and buttocks, then proceeding to frantically rub one's face in the thick layer of the shit. The aim is to transfer as much of the shit onto one's face as possible, then proceeding to delicately wash off the shit in front of a mirror, leaving only big, bushy eyebrows and a thick mustache forged out of the pure shit of another being. The result will bear a striking resemblance to Rudyard Kipling.

Alan: The jungle book is a superb read, I feel I must honour this man in the only way I know how. Susan, drop your undergarments this minute, for I wish to perform the Rudyard Kipling!
By Glennis