1. Person : Hey, what did you get on that biology test? I bet i got higher!
Me : You sure you wanna make that claim when your score's
Person : Whatever dude, you just wish you could be me.
Me (being sarcastic): Yeah, I'd just love to never have another girl hit on me as long as i live.
2. Mom : Here's your arranged marriage
son, Isn't she pretty?
Son (being sarcastic): Yeah! Why dont you go pick up the ugliest hog on
the streets and I'll marry THAT.