An ugly, dumpy version of Strong Bad with a beer belly and a comb-over. Walks around with a
grocery bag from Aldi which is full of unknown contents, save for a
melty candy bar which he chews on very loudly while standing too close to you in line. Has a tendency to say things that are not quite one thing, and not quite another. See below for example. He is believed to smell like
Pea Soup. Also, he lives behind a bush and pops out as you walk by. He's so cool, you don't even know he's cool. Recently opened a Mortgage service.
1:
Senor Cardgage (popping out of bush): Oh,
excardon me!
Homestar Runner: ... (singing) I dunno what that means! And you still smell like
Pea Soup!!!
2:
Senor Cardgage: I have to be going, Ethel. I have some important lines to stand in.
Strong Bad: Will I ever see you again?
Senor Cardgage: Excrobably not.