you ask, "How ya doing...?"
And then courteously they answer "High"...!
"Have a nice day!!"
"
no i'm aiming for a shitty one"
"I found it!!! it was in the last place i looked!!"
"well of course it was. youd be pretty stupid to keep looking after you found it"
"drive safely!"
"no i'm going to drive along at 100mphm with my eyes closed!"
"my eyes aren't what they used to be"
"what were they? ears?"
"He has his mothers eyes"
"no i'm pretty sure their mine"
"Find yourself a nice man!"
"no i'm trying to find one who's going to be
on the run, wanted for murder 24/7"
"is there anyone there?"
"nope, no one here!"
someone phones you in the middle of the night "are you asleep?"
"no, i answered the phone in my sleep"
"can i ask you a question?"
"you just did."
"
Life is short."
"no its not. tell me one thing you can do that's longer."
a person is lying on the road bleeding to death "stay with us! don't go!"
"do i look like i could leave if i wanted to??"
"they should put lights on this step so
blind people dont trip on it!
note: any offense by "stupid things people say" is unintentional. do not take it seriously.
