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Define Two Seconds Meaning

Two Seconds
The amount of time required to complete a task one has failed to complete, and is being scolded about.

Teacher: Why can't you write your name legibly on your tests? It only takes Two Seconds to write your name.

Boyfriend: Why can't you hurry up and finish? I'm sitting here banging it out, and you can't take Two Seconds to finish?
By Layla
Two Second Slider
A crap that takes only a couple of seconds to take; shoots out like a rocket; comes out very smoothly... A SHIT THAT IS UNIQUE BECAUSE WHEN YOUR ASS IS WIPED, THERE IS NO SHIT ON THE TOILET PAPER; A COMPLETELY CLEAN SHIT.

"oh man, i only like taking a shit if its a two second slider- otherwise, i feel dirty when i wipe..."


By Candy
Two Second Style
Quickly, in a hurry, pronto, hasty, fast, etc.

Relax, just wait, I'll be at your house fucking two second style.
By Robin
Two Second Dave
When a guy is receiving a hand job (usually a Light Bulb HJ) and he cums within roughly two seconds.

Man, I'm a Jewish girl named Steph, and I gave that guy a Light Bulb HJ last night, and he was definitely a Two Second Dave
By Storm
Two Seconds (bro)
the act one gives when wanting you to chill out either becuase you want to go or him to shut up when he is telling a gay story he wants to keep saying

ramzy, hury the fuck up lets go

two seconds bro

shut the fuck up and get in the car.
By Codee
Two Seconds Please
The universally way of knowing that you're fucked. Popularized by celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay.

"Hey you, Two seconds please." - Chef Ramsay
By Jeanna
Two Seconds In Jersey.
The fact that anyone weaker than you wouldn't last two seconds in jersey.

Hey Billy whats wrong?", "My mom just passed away....".,"You wouldn't last Two Seconds In Jersey.
By Erda
Two Second Speed Up
When a guido approaches slowly in his tricked out Honda Civic, speeds up for the 2 seconds it takes to pass you in order to look sweet, then immediately slows down again.

Two Second Speed Up
By Karlen
One Fucking Two Seconds
1. A measure of time.

2. More specifically, the amount of time it would take "Diesel Dan" to fuck up someone who has pissed him off.

3. This unit of time, being so quick, has yet to be calculated to an exact length. Still, researchers and witnesses to an event lasting one fucking two seconds have concluded that it is undoubtedly shorter than a New York minute, blink of an eye, two shakes of a lambs tail, and Superman in flight, which also by default makes it faster than a speeding bullet.

"Fuck that. I'll fuck him up in one fucking two seconds!"
By Maddie
Hang On Two Seconds And A Monkey
A phrase used to express surprise or bewilderment at the occurrence of an unlikely event.

‘Hang on two seconds and a monkey! My cup of tea tastes like brandy!’
By Sandi