You have called the
mental health hotline.
If you are
dislexic, please ressp noe.
If you are retarded, push the pretty
pink button.
If you have dillusions, hold on we are transferring your call to the mothership.
If you have autism, press the digit corresponding to the number of friends you have.
If you are schizophrenic, wait here and the small voice will tell you what to do.
If you have ADD, nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You are a disgrace to humanity. Bring it on in our office. Press 2 for the location!
If you have aspergers, 10001110101110101001.
If you have low self-esteem, please call again. All the operators are busy.
