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Define Reading The News Meaning

Reading The News
A term for masturbation.

Person A) Where's David
Person B) He's upstairs in his room reading the news
By Mair
Read The New Testament
A university term being euphemistic for having a shit. Because the Gideon's free bible is generally the only reading material around that is not related to work.

"Where's Harry gone?" "Oh he's gone to read the new testament"
By Mari