Announcer: Epic Rap Battles of History: Benjamin Franklin VS Billy Mays BEGIN
Benjamin Franklin: I'm Big Ben Franklin and this shan't be pretty
Let me instruct you how we battle in the City of Philly
You couldn't sell Rick James a bag of crack, you're out of practice.
My
victory's more certain than death or taxes.
Fact is, you're a hack whack QVC joke
You peddle soap, that cleans bird shit from my windows.
I'll craft a lyrical coffin then spit the nails in
Call me
Arthur Miller son, cuz It's death of a salseman.
Billy Mays: Hi Billy Mays here with a special TV offer
Watch me crush this bald fat foppish founding father
I'll take my awesome
auger, and sow your quaker oats
I'll shoot your rhymes down like a regiment of raincoats
I'm lord of the pitch, and leader in home sales.
You're just a
lumpy pumpkin who invented the mail.
Benny's got
kite'n key, but you're in for a shock
When I strike you with bolts from my lightning rod cock!