In a world of compromises, some people put the bullets in the magazine backwardsâŚBut it doesnât matter, because our gun is on the cover of the
Rainbow Six video games. Look how cool that SEAL coming out of the water looks⌠If you buy a $2,000
SOCOM, you will be that cool of an operator too. And chicks will
dig you.
At
HK, we stuck a
piston on an
AR15, just like a bunch of other companies have done, dating back to about 1969. However ours is better, because we refuse to sell it to civilians. Because you suck, and
we hate you.
Our XM8 is the greatest rifle ever developed. It may melt, and it doesnât fit any accessories known to man, but that is your fault. If you were a real operator, you would love it. Once again, look at Rainbow Six, that
G36 sure is cool isnât it? Yeah, you know you want one.And by the way, check out our new HK45. We decided that humans donât need to release the magazine with their thumbs. If you were a really manly teutonic operator, you would be able to reach
the controls. Plus weâve fired 100,000,000 rounds through one with zero malfunctions, and that was while it was buried in a lake of molten lava, on the moon. If you donât believe us, it is because you arenât a real operator.
By the way, our cheap, mass-produced, stamped
sheet metal guns like the
G3 and
MP5 are the bestest things ever, and totally worth asinine
scalpers prices, but note that cheap, mass-produced, stamped sheet metal guns from other countries are commie garbage. Not that it matters, because youâre civilians, so we wonât sell them to you anyway. Because you suck, and we hate you, but we know youâll be back. We can beat you down like a trailer park wife, but youâll come back, you always do.
Buy our stuff.
Sincerely
HK Marketing DepartmentHK. Because you suck. And we hate you.
Ze Heckler and Koch
G36 did not lose
eets zero, joo ah just not TEUTONIC OPERATOR
eenuff to use our superior German engineering. NEIN EET EEZ NOT MELTING, ZAT IS SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN.