person 1: I was accepted to every school in the Ivy League, but didn't attend, as I have no need to childishly prove myself to the world. I attend El
Generico State University, because it's just as good, if not better!
(**person 2 thinking privately to himself): She's always been a bit of an abey...
person 1: I also won the Nobel Peace Prize for 2006 last month, but chose not to accept it, as
I feel it's a completely overrated award. I told them to give it to Muhammad
Yunus and Grameen Bank instead.
(**person 2 thinking privately to himself): Riiight...
person 1:
Miuccia asked me to walk in her show at Fashion Week, but I declined, as I only strut the runways for Eddie Bauer. Why would anyone want to wear Prada anyway? I told her to use Gemma instead.
(**person 2 thinking privately to himself): Umm... You're 5'3" and shaped like a gourd. How could you be a
runway model? And Eddie Bauer doesn't even have a show at Fashion Week. It's not even couture.
person 1: Well, I must be off! President Bush wants me to negotiate a truce between Israel and
Hezbollah.
(person 1 actually walks off to her apartment to watch a rerun of "Friends" while scarfing down a pint of
Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey)
person 2 (out loud to no one in particular): Why do I talk to her?
