The shaven-headed striking genius who plays his club football for Crystal Palace FC. Has 2 England caps, and in the light of possible injuries to Wayne Rooney and Michael Owen must be a favourite to go to the 2006 World Cup, being a vastly superior stand-in than
Defoe,
Harewood, Bent, Ashton, Crouch,
Beattie, Fowler et al.
Andy Johnson's magic,
he wears a
magic hat,
and when he sees the matchball,
he says I'm having that,
He scores them with his
left foot,
He scores them with his right,
And when he's playing Brighton,
He scores all f*ckin' night
