A superhuman being that inhabits the wonderful city of Chicago. They can be found anywhere in Chicago, but how do you know if you've spotted an actual Chicagoan?
First, Chicagoans love or have some sort of pride in them for Chicago. Why would you bother being a Chicagoan if you didn't like Chicago?
Second, they're actually from Chicago. Always check to make sure that whoever tells you they're from Chicago isn't actually from
Naperville or some other place/suburb that is an hour away from
the Loop.
Third, they are very friendly but can also be tough. They will always be loyal to anything that holds their city dear, like the sports teams. There is currently an ongoing dispute between the
Chicago Cubs and the
White Sox. Pick your side wisely, because once you do, you can't go back.
Lastly, if you're a Chicagoan, you will be disturbed by the gif below. Why? Because there's ketchup on that hot dog! If you're not a Chicagoan, it may
seem normal to put ketchup on a hot dog, but to a Chicagoan, it's not a good thing for them.
Overall, Chicagoans are wonderful, magical humans that should be treated with great respect. If you don't I'm going to have you sentence you to 3 years in
Jay Cutler's household! So be nice to Chicagoans. ✨✨✨✨
Plot twist:
I'm a Chicagoan!
(Some things in this definition are
satire)