My new year's resolution is to eat less junk food, exercise more, and live an overall healthier, more productive, studious, exciting, and fulfilling life. This will probably result in utter failure, but I am making it anyway.
By Bethanne
New Year's Resolution
n: An assessment of, and often delusional attempt to correct, one's shortcomings. Typically made on a day that is arbitrary except that it begins a new year on the standard Gregorian Calendar. Given the arbitrary nature of the date and the sudden change of lifestyle demanded by most resolutions, it should not be surprising that most resolutions are abandonded by the start of the next year. Fortunately the next New Year gives a person the opportunity to make the same resolution again.
A common New Year's resolution: get fit, get thin, get hot, get laid.
A common outcome: stay out of shape, stay fat, stay ugly, masturbate.
The bull shit that people say they will when they are hammered 10 mins before the New Years comes. Most of this is forgotten by the 3rd of January.
Most of these "resolutions" are things like, lose weight, eat better, eat less, get a better job other then that casher job at Mc Donalds. Most of these never happen, but when the planets are alined right, still none of these happen.
People who don't have problems in life say, "Fuck that shit, I'm getting a sandwich."
Person with problems: "My New Year's Resolution is to reach a weight under 300lbs."
Person without problems: "Fuck that shit, I'm getting a sandwich."
By Aime
New Year's Resolution
when a fat person says they're going to looseweight that they never will, and just lie to themselves.
Something you set out to accomplish when the new year comes along. Also highly improbable you will go along with it, but it's the thought which counts.
New Years Resolutions are kind of like when you click the 'I read the terms and conditions'. You know you'll feel semi-guilty by clicking the button even if you didn't actually read so you say "I'll read them next time." You do that with New Years Resolutions. "I promise not to ever gossip again...next year. Did you hear what Ross did with Rachel? BRUH."
By Jerrylee
New Year's Resolution Warrior
Those people who make a new year's resolution to get in shape. they can be seen sporting new workout gear as they recently purchased a long term gym membership, of which will only get used for about 3 weeks before they quit. they are known for doing exercises incorrectly, being ass clowns, getting in your way and spend a lot of time socializing. they are typically very out of shape and are defined as physically unimpressive.
I would like to welcome the new year's resolution warriors to the gym. I appreciate you taking my normal parking spot, locker, and shower. You do look great in your new workout gloves and book to write down your three sets of bicep curls. The highlight was the 40 something couple making out between sets of incline dumbbell press. Hope you enjoy three weeks before you quit.
