Define Shitwank Meaning

Shitwank
Defecating in your hands before masturbating furiously.

Dude, i totally shitwanked over you the other night
By Alyss
Shitwank
A common insult with the same meaning as twat dickhead wanker etc.

Your such a shitwank!
By Denys
Shitwank

neocubed is a real shitwank
By Malvina
Shitwanker
Shitwanker can commonly be applied to the French, sweat-heads, minge-bags and scum. The term shitwanker originated when some of the French attempted munging a 1 month old corpse, in this occurrence however, the French decided that they would stamp on the stomach of the corpse with a jar inserted into the anus of the corpse. After filling the jar with maggots, faeces/feces they capped the lid and removed the sphincter of the corpse with a rusty spoon(other instruments do not invalidate the verb). This was then placed in the jar with the waste and excrement harvested earlier.

Once the group arrived in their zero bedroom flat in Paris, they removed the excrement from the jar and molded it with their bare hands to a size that could fit in the sphincter, following this, the group egg-washed the excrement to lubricate it, inserted the excrement into the sphincter and finally baked the waste for 30 minutes at around 120 degrees C, at the end of this time they carefully removed the bake from the oven, leaving it for 2 hours to cool. At the end of this time, lubricant was rubbed onto the bake, the sphincter was dislodged from the golden-brown egg-wash crust, covered in lubricant. One of the group would eagerly move the sphincter along the bake, appearing to wank the shit.

Henceforth this action became known as Shitwanking.

"I bet they are eager to shitwank again, although I really would rather not have my corpse shitwanked, I would really like to become a shitwanker"
By Dedra
Shitwank

"No sex for me love i just had a hench shitwank"
By Bonita
Shitwanker
a retarded person that wanks shits

tit wanker aka shitwanker
By Willa
Shitwank
Both a really bad mastubatory experience or a term of reference, affectionate or otherwise towards an individual.

i.e. there was good porn but just as I was about to jizz, some gay popup appeared and spoilt it.

i.e. "hey you, shitwank! Keep the fucking noise down and tell your bro I said he was a tossfuck!"
By Lorena
Shitwank Waffle
It's when you grab a very soggy wet waffle and then you start to rub your dick pesistantly. You then get your girlfriend to take a dump on the waffle, after this you will crumble up a digestive biscuit and squirt some cream over the top. While still masturbating you will then squirt it all over your waffle, then you will eat it, enjoy.

Oh my dayz, I went to dis shop right and bought a waffle, but wow it wasn't a ordinary waffle, it was a shitwank waffle, proper nutty bruv. Not what I asked for.
By Kaitlynn
Nullagine Tandem Cowboy Shitwank
Whilst one man is having a standard shit wank, a second man sits on his lap cowboy style and shits between his legs, whilst simultaneously jerking them both off with theirs cocks pressed up against each others

I was having a sneaky shitwank when my man lover Plunky sat down on my lap and joined me for a good ol nullagine tandem cowboy shitwank of monstrous proportions. We simultaneously owned the toilet whilst setting off jizz fireworks all of the bathroom ceiling
By Velma
Shitwank
Someone who posts the meaning of their name found on this website on any social media outlet of their choice, forgetting to realize that no one asked for it.

Fuck dude, I keep seeing jeff post the meaning his name on Instagram! Well jeff is a total shitwank!
By Karina