A smoothie, a common American beverage in which the preparer integrates various fruit and dairy products, has become the
de facto staple of cuisine in various Disney Channel and Nickelodeon television series. What
ambrosia comprised to the residents of mythical
Olympus, or
manna constituted for the
Hebrews in the ancient text of Exodus, the smoothie has become to the modern Disney Channel Original Star.
As a general rule, any character in a Disney Channel or Nickelodeon series must engage in one of the following activities: (a) partake of smoothies on a regular basis; (b)
patronize smoothie establishments repeatedly, whether or not actually partaking thereof; (c) either serve as the founder of a smoothie establishment or possess a parent who owns or operates a smoothie establishment; or (d) profess love of the smoothie on a regular basis, whether or not actually consuming such during filming. Though no character has actually evinced the
mettle required to do so, expressing distaste or even indifference towards the smoothie would comprise the utmost blasphemy against all that these two esteemed television stations hold dear.
Gordo (with utter obsequiousness): Lizzie, should you
deign to condescend to partake of a smoothie whilst accompanying me to "
The Juice is Loose," I should feel deeply honored.
Lizzie (with utmost
solicitude): Forsooth, I should greatly enjoy accompanying you thereto, and I should feel exceedingly edified to effect such.
Miranda: Awesome-- Smoothies! That'd really hit the spot right about now. We are OUTTIE!!!
Gordo: You shan't invite this vulgar, pidgin-speaking cretin to accompany us thereto?!!
Lizzie: But Miranda's been our friend, like, for forever!!
Gordo: And you certainly shan't defile yourself by engaging in her vulgar colloquialisms?
Miranda: Since when did Gordo become the WORLD'S BIGGEST JERK?!!
Gordo: Indeed!
