Define The Chav Meaning

Abbreviation of the Cesar E. Chavez Blvd. (39th Ave.) in SE Portland.

Stupid annoying arses, need to get a life, think they're superior to the human race, (female and male chavs) shag everything that moves, (male chav) hand always in their pants, (female chav) MUST get pregnant as soon as period starts, regardless of age,
walk with shoulders swinging, obssessed with brand names, play shitty whiny music very piss takingly loudly on buses, hang around Mcdonalds for a meal, talk like twats, look like twats, use cheap deodrant and tell mates "its prada i swear, blud!"

One hormonal teenage boy, dressed up in fake Adidas and Argos jewellery with a pregnant girlfriend who turned 12 last week. Typically living in a council house in Croydon, with yobbish mates who like to hang around outside McDonald's and mug old ladies for entertainment.

There you have the epitome of a chav.

The male of the species, the 'chav', is often to be found lurking in braying packs close to fast food outlets or late night stores. It displays a distinctive livery with which it attempts to attract the female ('chavette') - most commonly, the Burberry-effect baseball cap (placed at a jaunty angle, sometimes partially covering the face - this is known in some cultures as 'snidey'); the 'sports' clothing (this is somewhat confusing as the chav is not renowned for its athletic abilities) and countless items of 'bling' (Chav patois meaning jewellery or other adornments). The origins of said 'bling' are various as the chav typically possesses neither a means of employment or indeed any type of education. Chavettes, meanwhile, tend to have hair in at least two colours, ill-fitting tops and white tracksuit tops (usually Kappa). Note their ornate 'love bites': tribal cicatrices around the neck, usually perpetrated by a near-toothless male known as Kev, Daz, Gaz, Baz, Tez or some other monosyllabic name.

Health and Education

Chavs can often be seen smoking - an activity which causes them to spit and cough, but only in public places (see above). They imbibe alcohol, normally in the form of cheap lager / cider normally obtained illegally. This often gives them the impression that they are 'hard' and they will thus attempt to start fights with anyone/thing smaller than them. However, upon retaliation of their prey they tend to run away.

Chavs are, believe it or not, to be found in education. Again, they tend to subsist in packs and can be seen braying and howling in the classroom, challenging even the most reasonable of requests to shut the hell up and let other people learn things. They tend to leave school before the age of sixteen, however, in order to pursue parenthood or a life of crime.

Transportation

The chavette is rarely seen driving a car. Instead, she is to be found holding up various bus passengers as she attempts to manoeuvre her outsized three-wheeled buggy onto a local bus service. She is usually en route to a supermarket or other place where she can swear at or smack her children publicly (this is the only form of discipline, usually to an extreme, ever displayed by chavs or chavettes towards their children and so it is required by law that it takes place wherever others may be gathered).

The chav can be found spending seemingly endless resources of money adding bodykits and neon striplights to his car (sometimes known as a 'chaviot'): this is normally a pre-1990 Ford Escort with 1100cc engine and XR3i stickers, a near-suicidal Vauxhall Nova (with plastic split-screen effect, or the occasional BMW coated in Hammerite. The real mystery about this is how the vehicle can move under the weight of the stereo system installed (badly) within. A large sticker usually adorns the rear (tinted) windscreen of the vehicle, proclaiming the brand of stereo equipment supposedly fitted inside. Loud, bassy music of indeterminate genre / origin will more often than not be emanating through the very loose tinted side windows.

Language

The typical Chav speaks a language which has yet to be named. It claims to have its roots in English, although this is in some doubt. Most Chav words are mercifully brief, and sentences tend to be punctuated with 'innit' or some sort of expletive. Only chavs can truly understand the language - the rest of us can only guess at the witty repartie and intellectual gems of conversation that may pass between them.

A sub-human species, often thought to be descended from fish, due to their tiny memories and 'gawping' facial expressions.
The average chav spends most of his time, when not hammered or pretending to be 'hard', drinking, teaching his 4 chidren about the 'honourable' ways of the chav, and generally being a nuisance. It is though there may be a plot to try and take over the world, which would explain their huge breeding, but they will lack sobriety when attacking. If you ever meet a chav, you should take on step towards him and he'll run screaming to his (pregnant) girlfriend.

A fucking discrace, where did they all come from, 30 years ago my town was cool, now it sucks. Grubby little houses and burnt out cars

Despite their negative reputations, chavs are not in fact the spawn of inbred working-class alcoholics from Liverpool, Birkenhead, and Ellesmere Port. Chavs are in reality well-adjusted, well-mannered, open-minded, educated human beings who are simply misunderstood. They usually have a soft warm centre. They mean no harm. They always have the best intentions, even when pounding that 80yo woman's head into the pavement with ten of their good friends after she already handed over everything of value that she had on her person. They always fight fairly one-on-one. They almost never strut around outside bargain booze drinking cider and throwing stones at passing OAP's, and if they do they must have been provoked. In front of their peers and parents they would never dream of saying anything like, "Maaaaaaate I’m fuckin blitzed proper like maaaaate." They only drive around with music playing as loud as possible because they are convinced you enjoy the music as much as they do. They're trying to make you happy. They only act out and cause trouble because their hard-working teetotal mothers and fathers, god bless, are underpaid and undervalued members of society.

Male chav: wears tons of sports wear, has an earring in one ear, (usually a great big fake diamond), wears adidas trainers, and pulls their socks up over their trousers. has a shaven head or awful blond highlights in their short hair. usually seen with a cigarette.

female chav: peroxide blonde hair which is extremely straight or messily scarped up into an incredibly high pony tail which is so tight, they can't move their eyebrows. pregnant at about 14. lots of tacky fake gold rings, so much it's hard to move their fingers. if not in trackies, wears tight trousers or short skirts and a top that shows a lot of cleavage.

ALL chavs smoke, drink and have slept with many people at the 0f at least 14

vocabulary consists of: innit, bruv, braaaaap, fuckin'.
usualy seen outside mcdonalds or tescos
they hate people who like rock music.
they also think their 'well 'ard' (which they are not)
their wrighting in indecipharable, as they refuse to learn, and therefore cannot spell

They are the scum of britain.

Picture this a young lad about 12 years of age and 4 ½ feet high baseball cap at ninety degrees in a imitation addidas tracksuit, with trouser legs tucked into his socks (of course, is definitely the height of fashion). This lad is strutting around, fag in one hand jewellery al over the over, outside McDonalds acting as if he is 8 foot tall and built like a rugby player, when some poor unsuspecting adult (about 17/18) walks round the corner wanting to go to mcdonalds for his dinner glances at the young lad, the young lad jumps up in complete disgust and says “Whats your problem? Wanna make sommin of it? Bling Bling” when the adult starts to walk towards the young lad, the young lad pisses himself and runs off to either his pregnant 14-year-old girlfriend or his brother in the army crying his eyes out.

Average male chav stands around 2 foot 7 inches fully grown, Sporting 2/4 stripe adidas lookalike tracksuits ((rips included)), About a hundred million fake pieces of jewellery which they call their bling ((Might explain why they only grow to 2 foot 7, Too much weight)) The common chav when reaching the required driving age for chavs ((around 8 years old)) poleslide into the chav cave, and into their chavmobile or 'chaviot', Rev it about a billion times ((because they think it makes them hard and it also makes the chavettes wet)), Before hitting the nitros.. Well kicking in their AA batteries they must fit into these 'maxed out' Novas, Neons and bodykits and a paintjob that looks so dodgy it must have been made with 'paint by numbers - for chavs'Their driving skills about as impressive as the chavettes buggy pushing skills, Both hitting everything in sight. ((The average chavette falls pregnant around age 12)) After arriving at McDonalds ((only place chavs don't get asked for ID for being 2 foot 7)) They huddle in their crew and wait for the chance to look hard. When finally the unsuspecting 4 year old comes along licking his ice cream, The chav will jump up screaming 'wat ya lukin' at, wot?.. ya wan' beef!?' ((But if the 4 year old defended himself, The chavs would scatter, Some jumping into nearby bushes, Gardens, Dog Houses, Sewers and Push Chairs of the chavettes)) This is, Of course if they don't have a getaway chaviot nearby. You may say chavs are stupid... and you'd be right, The average chav drops out of school after learning the 2 times table, Most even before this as the work is too difficult ((9 out of 10 chavs think 2+2 is 7)) Lack of education forcing them to make their own language, Can be mistaken for English after a few pints. The chavs cap is like a Samurai's sword, It's like their soul, Slap their caps off and their powerless. Although their final defense is hair so short it'd give you a rash, The shock of this awful site usually giving them enough time to tuck their 4stripes into their socks and leg it back to their 7 time pregnant chavette back at their 1 room flat in the council block. ((Common chavette has hair pulled back so tight it pulls every single part of the face with it.. Pretty much making them look like the bug monster from MIB when he attempts to look like one)) For some unknown reason a chav will always have a bigger brother, Making me think they must all be inbred, Their father being their brother, So on and so forth.