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Define The John Meaning

The John
the act of never getting laid

I got the john last night....fuck
By Winnie
John John
That good good

Thats some john john weed, bro.
By Sherilyn
John-John
It's that fuckin good good.

"Dude that was some John-John weed."
By Clarinda
No Johns
"No johns" means that you can't make excuses. It is the perfect counter argument to anyone who is making any type of excuse whatever. When someone makes excuses or tries to make excuses, they are "johning". If this occurs, tell them "NO JOHHNZZ".

Me: "Dude, I just 4 stocked your Marth with my Pikachu.

n00b: "Yeah, but Marth isn't my main character."

Me (as well as crowd): "NO JOHHNZZ SON"
By Sheila-Kathryn
The John
The John is another informal name for 'the toilet'.

Sarah ran straight to the John after their long trip.
By Kellen
John
Shy at first, it may take a little while for a John to adjust to a new situation or person. Regardless, his personality naturally draws others to himself. Cocky half grin plastered on his face, a Naruto manga in hand, sitting back, completely chill, his relaxed state is almost contagious. He's happiest on a basketball court, listening to rad music, or just watching an intense thunderstorm. His smile causes butterflies to be born in a certain tummy. A John has a good heart, and stands firm on what he knows to be true. But be warned: his heart and trust have been broken in the past, leaving him a bit vulnerable. Don't ever lie to a John, or you'll deeply regret it.

Dude. He likes Bring Me the Horizon, You Me At Six, Escape the Fate, and Blessthefall? He's TOTALLY a John.
By Dianne
John It
to take a personal day.

The act of missing work to so something selfish

"Where's jeff today?"
"He's johning it"

"Should I go to class today?"
"No man, John it!"
By Jonell
No Johns
No Excuses

"That was definitely East Coast DI."
~ Commentator (East Coast)

"What's wrong with our DI?"
~ Mango (West Coast)

"Your DI is horrible. Trust me. Your DI causes you to die."

"Our DI rapes. We like to have fun, so we let let each other combo each other. That's how it works. We're not super-serious like you guys."

"Alright. In the East Coast, we got this saying called 'No Johns'."

Revival of Melee 1 Crew Battle Commentary
By Letta
John
The Coolest motherfucker on the Planet

David Hasselhof: Hey you know that John guy?
Obama: Yeah man hes the coolest motherfucker on the Planet
By Rhody
Johned
A term frequently used in Norse mythology dating back to the age of Thrain. It was said that one could only become Johned if they were truly two Peters. The equation of 2 peters equaling a John is still highly challenged in certain academic circles.

- I was so Johned last night I became a Peter.
By Jemmy