The textbook performance of a Washingtonian requires two men, one woman, one standard commode, one beer bong, and one beer. This maneuver begins with one man assuming the normal deuce-dropping position on the commode. The second man proceeds to remove the lid of the toilet and he then climbs onto the shoulders of the seated man for the purpose of executing an upper decker. While this unusual scene is unfolding, a female enters the lavatory with a beer bong and a full beer. She proceeds to prepare the funnel for usage prior to handing it to the man engaged in
the upper decker. At this
juncture the grand finale is about to reach actualization. The man sitting on the commode takes the beer bong while the man evacuating feces into the tank holds the funnel. The female that provided the funnel to the scat producing duo gets down on her knees and performs a blumpkin on the man.
Your author is only aware of one instance of this bizarre, yet respectable, act. In 2001, the
Kappa Sigma house at Virginia Tech (
VT) witnessed the successful completion of this famed maneuver. During that particular academic year the frequency of blumpkin discovery on the VT campus reached an all-time high. The common fraternity trait of
oneupsmanship led to the careful design and eventual execution of this contrivance. Rumors had been ciculating on campus that certain fraternities were in the midst of significant breakthroughs relating to scat, urine, and dingleberry-related hoaxes. Some dedicated scat engineers from Kappa Sigma attempted in earnest to design a proceeding worthy of nationwide
acclaim. It was under these circumstances that the Washingtonian was born, and it is under similar circumstances that the Washingtonian will continue to exist.
