Phone conversation.
Friend: "
What's up man?"
Sufferer: "Dude, I've eaten nothing but
white bread for three days and I've just had my first shit."
Friend: "Woah, nightmare!"
Sufferer: "Tell me about it, I've been
curled up on the couch for the past hour and a half sucking my thumb while my ass is all '50p 20p'."