keith richards plays guitar for
the rolling stones. he enjoys cigarettes, booze, drugs, some more booze, women, drugs... he is very old and wrinkly, though *some* people still find him sexy. his age is estimated to be anywhere between 60 and
4 billion years. his teeth probably aren't real, and i would be very surprised if the veins in his arms (or the rest of his body for that matter) still exist. in fact, i believe he may be some sort of android or zombie. often fond of irregular headbands, which are no doubt used to anchor his flesh to his head so that his face doesn't
slide off. his whereabouts are constantly changing, though it can be assumed that wherever he is, he is expiring.
keith richards cannot be killed by conventional methods.
what's that foul odor? oh, it's just keith richards.
...and on the third
moon of every month, six
virgins must be sacrificed
in the woods in order to keep keith richards alive.
