Define No Shit, There I Was Meaning

This phrase generally precedes an unbelievable event or story described by someone that the situation could never happen to.

This term is used to explain the reasons NOT to date a co-worker.

The translation is essentially saying that you are not willing to mess up (shit) where you are making a living for your bread and butter (eats).

when your with your friend and you think you need to fart so you do and then you realise it wasn’t a fart and that you in fact have just shit all over yourself and your friend

A word used if the answer to a question is unknown.

2. An exclamation declaring to someone that one has accidentally farted gas, or farted shit.
1. A phrase used to refer to something that came out your asshole by accident, either literally, or figuratively.

What is said after you accidentally (or sometimes purposely) download child pornography onto your computer.

Fairly ambiguous and is often open to debate on it's correct application.
Historically it has been used to politely ask someone at, say, a formal dinner, if they have farted or indeed, have actually shat their smalls. The use of "have I" helping to ease the embarrasement of the situation.

When you REALLY don’t care about anything/anyone

when you need to take a fucking shit but your mind in not working so you "shit i need to take a fuck" - blake earle 2016

A quote from a movie called "die hard", meaning: obviously!
Usually used in phone conversations.