A mysterious creature long thought to be extinct until December of 2009. The Snooki is now very famous, but no one has any idea why. The wild Snooki is somewhere between 4-5 feet tall with dark orange skin and hair that is
poofed up at the top, and speaks in incoherent gibberish. The Snooki has been spotted in
seaside heights, New Jersey, Miami, Florida, and Florence Italy. While the origins of the Snooki are unknown, it claims to be of Italian descent and from New Jersey, but it is most likely of Mexican descent (this may explain the fabled chupacabra) and from New York. The wild Snooki is predatory in nature and ususlly hunts at sleazy night clubs that are overpopulated by spiky-haired, Ed Hardy wearing douchebags. The wild
Snooki's preferred method of
killing it's prey is to rape males(a ritual which it calls smush -smush), using it's myriad of STDs to kill them. The Snooki's diet is made up almost entirely of alcohol and semen. If attacked by a Snooki, the most effective way of getting rid of it is to
punch it in the face. Recently, a creature thought to be related to the Snooki has been discovered, called the
Deena. The Deena is similar to the Snooki in height and appearance,as well as mating and hunting rituals, except it's face resembles a gremlin and is known to perform "
smush-smush" on both men and women. The most accepted theory on the origin of the Deena is that a Snooki will transform into a Deena either when it gets wet or is fed after midnight.
Ex 1:
Sizzler owner: you gotta see this, this thing destroyed my restaurant!
Randy Marsh: What the hell is it?
Sizzler owner: They call it a Snooki, it's very famous.
Randy Marsh: Why?
Sizzler owner: I don't know!!!
Snooki: Snooki want
smush-smush!
Mr.
Stotch(Butters' dad): It's raping me!!!
Randy Marsh: Shoot it!!!
(guy shoots at Snooki with shotgun and misses)
(Snooki jumps out window)
Ex2: Kyle: What's that behind you?
Cartman: Nice try Kyle.
Kyle: No seriously, what is that?!
(Cartman turns around)
Cartman:Dude, What The Fuck Is That?!
Snooki: Snooki want smush-smush!!!
Cartman: GET IT OFF OF ME, IT'S RAPING ME!!!
Kyle: Oh god, guys get the hell out of here!
Stan: Why?
Kyle: Just get the hell out of here!
(Kyle transforms into Jersey alter-ego, Kylie-B)
Kylie-B: Get the fuck out of here ya piece of gahbage!
Snooki: (incoherent gibberish)
Kylie-B: You're muff cabbage! You got
cabbage on your muff!
Snooki: (more incoherent gibberish)
(Kylie-B punches Snooki in the face)
(Snooki runs out crying)
Ex3: Mysterious Chinese Man: Remember, do not get your Snooki wet or feed it after midnight, unless you want it to turn into a
Deena.
