Trevor: What ya doing?
Hamish: I'm setting my alarm clock.
Trevor: What the fuck for?
Hamish: What do you mean what for? To get me up in the morning!
Trevor: Well, you're not going to work...you're not going on holiday...and you don't even bother to soap yer seal in the morning...so what have you got to get up for?
Hamish: I am a
creature of habit.
Trevor: You don't even have a lie in on Sundays.
Hamish: Oh so I should be like you should I? Rotting like a corpse in bed until lunchtime every day, wallowing in my own
spangle!
Trevor: Lovely! You should try it sometime!
Hamish: One morning you became so firmly glued to your encrusted blanket that you had to drag it around with you til
tea-time like an albatross!
- Pets (www.petscomedy.co.uk)