A fluent speaker of Russian, he specializes in the
disposal of others. Favorite activities include scratching the cardboard
rectangle,
meowing, moving his food out of the bowl before eating it, and chasing twist ties around.
"Did you hear that sound?"
"It must've been
Ferdinand."
"It sounded like a gun"
"It must've been Ferdinand."
"Do you hear someone being tortured?"
"It's just the cat."
"I smell smoke."
"It's just the cat."
"OK seriously, you'll have to stop with 'it's just the cat.' You know just as well as I do that cats do not use death by a million cuts to kill their enemies, they don't have guns, and they don't explode. I'm going to stop coming over if
you don't tell me what's going on, it's getting out of-"
But then he was killed by a mysterious
throwing knife.
