Define Lead Pipe Meaning

Lead Pipe
In the deprived housing estates of the U.K. some Local Councils/Housing Associations are yet to upgrade the old lead water pipes to copper. (Lead Water Pipes = Lead Poisoning = Brain Damage).

Dave looks slightly retarded and struggles to find a job because he is a "Lead Pipe".
By Marleah
Lead Pipe
An act in where a man sticks a piece of lead from a mechanical pencil into his urethra and has sex with a women or grapefruit, whichever comes first.

I was sitting at home and thought my pineapple deserved a lead pipe so I warmed the pineapple in a 350 degree oven for ten minutes and then poured Siracha hot sauce over it to counteract the lead poison stinging with hot sauce stinging.
By Barbabra
Lead Pipe Massage
1)savage physical beating

2)verbal beating, scourned, read her/him the "riot act"

1)he/she got the lead pipe massage while he was walking home from work last night.

2)he/she got the lead pipe massage for being late for the meeting.
By Rochelle
Lead-pipe Cinch
In American slang this phrase means a dead certainty.

Homer: I have 50 bucks riding on this game.
Marge: Homer, you promised me!
Homer: This isn't gambling Marge. It's lead-pipe cinch.
By Rosalynd
Lead Pipe Lock
a guarantee; a definite outcome

My bookie says (insert team) is a lead pipe lock to win.
By Rubia
Lead Pipe Deal
A lead pipe deal is a deal that is so good that there is no way the agreement came around consensually; the person would have never parted with the item that is the subject matter of the transaction without you having used force

"You got that 2017 BMW for $ 5,000 ?" "Yeah, dude--isn't that a great deal?" "Yeah, man--that's a lead pipe deal."
By Coral
Lead Pipe Feeling
Emotion experienced when you are watching someone do or say something that is so awkward and embarassing, that you not only feel embarassed for them, but want to hit them with a lead pipe to make it stop.

Watching Anna Nicole Smith - both the show and her life - will illicit strong "lead pipe feelings."

You're in a bar, and your friend walks up to a girl he's been eyeing all night. You watch from afar as he forgets how to construct meaningful sentences, and procedes to explain his duties as "Head Dungeon Master."
By Ranique