Define Seattleites Meaning

Most definitly not one in resemblence to this other definition here. Just to let you know they are probably from Portland, Oregon. Portland is the sad, wimpy little brother who wishes he could live up to the expectations that Seattle fulfills.

I hate all of you fucking pretentious, dirty, smelly, ugly liberals that populate such a God-forsaken hell hole. You go around thumbing your nose at any and everything that is not exactly like you or doesn't fit perfectly into the way your shriveled little brain works. Your flannel shirts can fuck off. Your 501's suck. Your motherfucking goddamn teva's are DISGUSTING and even you know that Birkenstocks are just flatout wrong. The majority of women are seriously fucked up in the head (headcase, psycho bitch) and would not think twice about fucking your best friend and then telling you about it, just because you kept her goddamn (insert any object here) for too long. And I've never in my life seen such a pathetic bunch of whiny, pessimistic, obnoxious-for-no-reason, DELUDED, closeted males. Seattleites hate everything, including other Seattleites and especially non-natives. It's because they all have rain brain. Gee, do you think it can rain for ANOTHER day in a row? Anyone seen Noah?

Lots of Seattleites think they are victims of government or capitalism. "Look what you've done with my life!" or "How dare you impose this government upon me!" is their furious motto. They hang out in little revolutionary coffee shops plotting their next direct action or meaningless protest. Some may openly flaunt Communist badges or paraphernalia. Other Seattleites are ginormous yuppies so full of themselves their hot ego fog blinds their ability to see anything clearly. These people drive around in some trendy hybrid dick-ass car or bike to work (knowing nothing of vehicular cycling) making SURE they disobey every single traffic law possible while looking like a total spandex assfag. Then, there are the "true" Seattleites who were born here and basically think other Seattleites deserve to be executed. These are the silent urban trolls who will violently attack any innocent conversation traveling their direction. "You're not from here? ARE YOU! (motherfucker implied)" is a beautiful and customary greeting of the natives. Everyone in Seattle pretty much completely despises everyone else in Seattle for living in THEIR Seattle. Seattleites are officially the world's most pussified and temperamental people that have ever existed.

1. Any person living in, or within ten miles of The city of Seattle, WA
2.Is easily agitated when tourist asks to see the original Starbucks, Microsoft or Kurt Cobain's house. True Seattleites do not care for these things.
3.Considers Seattle to be the best city on Earth.
4. Is a pretentious coffee snob due to the thousands of delicious coffee houses and rostaries that surround them.
5. Any person who knows not to visit Pike Place Market on a Saturday.
6. Any person who was disappointed by EMP (unlike the inbred hicks from across the country who come to visit it).
7. Anybody who knows that "eating dicks" means eating burgers.
8.Any person that hates it when Californians drive through Washington and cry about the rain and the cold.
9. Typically a city that is completely devoid of soccer moms.

A person residing in or around Seattle.

(improved on)
1. Any person living in, or within 50 miles of The city of Seattle, WA
2.Considers Seattle to be the best city on Earth.
3. Is a pretentious coffee snob due to the thousands of delicious coffee houses and rostaries that surround them.
4. "Too good for an umbrella"
5. Any person who knows not to visit Pike Place Market on a Saturday.
6. Any person who was disappointed by EMP (unlike the inbred hicks from across the country who come to visit it).
7. Anybody who knows that "eating dicks" means eating burgers.
8.Any person that hates it when Californians drive through Washington and cry about the rain and the cold.
9. Typically a city that is completely devoid of soccer moms.

1: inhabitants of Seattle
2: one who rarely sees natural sunlights, esp. from September thru July.
3: often refers to someone, who is computer savvy and possesses valuable stock options.
4: often refers to someone, who is computer savvy and possesses worthless stock options.

(noun)
1. An basic reference to a resident of the City of Seattle. This is commonly in reference to anyone around the Seattle area, but when properly used, concerns only with the residents of the City. A resident of Mercer Island or Bellevue, for example, are not "hip" enough to be considered to be true Seattleites.
2. (slang) A mildly derogative term for someone who consumes an excessive amount of coffee. This definition developed under the common conception that all Seattleites do is drink coffee, listen to indie rock, and act snobby.
3. A pretentious "hipster" who resides anywhere in western Washington, reads "The Stranger," and thinks they are "open-minded" because they attended an anti-WTO rally. Phyiscal characteristics may include pretentious goatee and somber paleness. Unmatching "hipster" clothes are also a must.

Someone from (or lives near) Seattle
1. Watches crappy sports teams
2. Drinks A LOT of coffee
3. Lives in perpetual rain
4. Laughs at Californians who whine about how 'cold' it outside

1. Person living in Seattle.
2. Person in love with soulless zombies, because it takes one to know one.
3. A soulless zombie.
4. A heartless person who doesn't know the meaning of a committed relationship with one person; i.e. is into polyamory because they can't feel emotion.
5. Person who shows an overwhelmingly exuberant "happy" emotion to cover up the lack of real emotion, or alternately to cover up true emotion, with fake smiles and caffeine induced energy.
6. Person who lives in Seattle and despite the bad weather which leads to the above symptoms, and despite the fact that Seattle has to have everything even if it reduces the quality of those things, and despite the fact that WA has poorly designed roads, still proclaims that Seattle is the best place in the world.