Guy: Yeah, torture motherfucker...I'll tie you to a bedpost with your asscheeks spread out, put a hanger on a stove for half an hour, take it off and stick it in your ass slow like: tssssssssssssssSSSSSST!
Other Guy: I'll lay your nuts on a dresser, just your nuts, and bang them with a
spiked bat!
BLAOW!
Guy: I'll pull your tongue out of your mouth and stab it with a
rusty screwdriver! BLAOW!
Other Guy: I'll hang you by your dick off of a 12 story building!
Guy: I'll sew your asshole closed and keep feeding you... and feeding you... and feeding you... and feeding you...
Other Guy: ...you win