Define Faeces Meaning

Faeces
A number of pieces of excremental matter.

"What ho, my good chap! It appears that during one's perambulatory peripateticism one has encountered a number of pieces of excremental matter that have adhered to the base-plate of one's footwear. S**T!
By Layne
Faeces

My kid just laid faeces on your mum's clothes. Steaming...
By Roseann
Faeces
1: It's like feces, but British.
2: Quite simply put, a turd or log. Or for you more uncouth chaps - shit.

Brit 1: "I say lad, what's that steaming pile of brown stuff?"
Brit 2: "Why that's faeces kind sir. Pass my crumpet and tea."
Brit 3: "Good show!"

By Gwendolyn
Faeces

Science teacher: "...and at the end of the digestive system, waste products are excreted in the form of faeces."

Class clown translates: "SHITTY POO COME OUT OF BUM."
By Gleda
Faeces
The brown stuff that comes out of your bottom. Commonly known as poo, shit, or crap.

"Eww. Look at that animal's faeces!"
By Sarah
Faec
Another way to spell face, as in a typo. Faec as opposed to Face.

Your faec is fucked.
By Randie
Faece
One small segment of faeces

By Shani
Faec
Pronounced feece.
An abbreviation of the word faeces (meaning shit or poo etc).
A different way to say it.

No way Ben, I ain't going to see that film, it's faec!
I'd rather faec all over the floor and roll around in it.
By Gerri
Festive Faeces
The art and science of defecating on another's doorstep on Christmas Day. Several sources credit the first use of the word to the urban legend Leeds Dr Rudeboy.

Effective management of such an undertaking involves a four-fold course of action, namely;

1. Visiting the local drinking establishment, followed by local nightclub, on Christmas Eve and early hours of Christmas Day. At some point during the evening, it would be rude to not visit Wetherspoons. Consumption of copious amounts of alcohol then proceeds throughout the evening.

2. Reconnaissance of a likely target whilst walking home, namely, houses in locations where the local cuntstabulary are unlikely to be driving past.

3. The said act of elimination onto the doorstep. Should the perpetrator be a Scouser*, then breaking and entering is, of course, the next natural course of action for the erstwhile Liverpudlian.

4. Wiping one rusty ringpiece with the fresh snow. Caution is advised for those presenting with haemorrhoids.

*The erstwhile Scouser may wish to declare any profits from the said breaking and entering on the next occasion he/she signs on within the following fortnight at the local Jobcentre Plus.

1st person: Well, that fine selection of of Cliff Richard records certainly has put me in the mood for the Queen's Speech tomorrow! Shall we retire early and let St Nicholas pay his visit?

Rudeboy: What whoa! Ya dumbclaat! I and I is gonna do a festive faeces on dem doorsteps!
By Ulla
Faece Furniture

ann & bernard went to buy a chair from IKEA but declined because it was faece furniture
By Liv