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Define Bagel Meaning

Bagel
two pieces of round bread, smashed together in a rude hushed manner.

lady at dunkin donuts: how can i help you?
me: can i have a bagel?
lady at dunkin donuts: you mean two pieces of round bread, smashed together in a rude hushed manner? SURE!
me: thanks!!!!
By Melosa
Bagel
another word for zero -- derived from the show Scrubs

“God is watching. How many times have you gotten laid this year?”— Janitor

“Bagel”— Todd

(making zero symbol with hand)
By Leone
Bagel
a highly tasty snack

jews make them very well
By Giorgia
Bagel
bagel (n) Holy food of the Jews.

Generic Rabbi: Ya call that a bagel? Sclomcka!
By Lyndsay
Bagel
A really old doughnut

Next time you ask for a "shmear" on that bagel, you should ask for sprinkles too. Why? A "hole" lot of cheating at the Kwik-E-Mart, that's why. Turns out that Apu is selling chewy week-old donuts -- from the bagel bin! Is nothing sacred? In this reporter's opinion, no.
By Jaclyn
Bagel
Long ago, when the doughnut was invented, the entirety of planet Earth rejoiced at the delicious iced pastry, until one day, somebody pointed out that it contained the word "ugh", which is commonly associated with horror and dismay. This eventually led to "doughnut" being shortened to "donut", all for the better. A bagel is a lesser donut. It effectively puts the "ugh" back in "doughnut" and should be avoided at all costs if a donut is available.

*Todd is about to put a bagel in his mouth when Sean cuts him off.*

Sean: Dude, we have donuts.

Todd: Thanks, Man. I owe you one.

*Todd eighty-sixes the bagel and grabs a donut.*
By Juliet
Bagel
Someone who is extremely cheap.

(Comes from the generic Jew characteristic of frugal, and the fact that all Jews love bagels)

Dude, don't be a bagel, I need the money for my enema!
By Madeline
Bagel
an inflamed anal scphinter muscle

that guy jus ass fucked me rough, now ive got a bagel
By Susette
Bagel
so drunk that you're toasted...another word for being toasted.

Man I drank so much last night. I was totally bagel!
By Nariko
Bagel
It means anything you want it to mean. Another word for cool, sick, or rad. Also can be used as a substitute for a swear word when expressing anxiety or anger.

That was sooo freggin' bagel.
By Barbra