Thousands of years ago, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of
Claus, an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of mammoth bones and his own waste. Hurling them at chimp like creatures with
crinkled hands, regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so called toys were buried as witches and defecated upon and
hurled at predators that were
awoken by the searing grunts of their children. It wasn't a holly-jolly Christmas that year, for many were killed...
A warlike race of elves from the tenth planet landed on the ice-encased Earth and were immeadiatly enslaved by the
unevolved Santa-ape to make his toys using galatic
elven technology. For ever more fancier models, toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like "train." But these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon because they were so stupid, Christmas still sucked in a
big way.
